BRIAN'S LEGACY OF LOVE
By Janise Eckman Wooten
I am sitting in my tree house, basking in the sunshine, hearing the sound of my husband Randy, running the lawn mower. It is a kind of music to my soul, as I feel the breeze on my arms and face; knowing my mom, who lives with us, is being safely cared for, in our home, by her caregiver Rebecca.
Yes, I'm just sitting in the tree house relaxing, taking a break, but from what?!! Relaxing and grieving, mourning the loss of our son, Brian. I am hidden away, but not really, just grieving, yet rejoicing at the same time that I feel his nearness; but how could I feel his FARNESS too--so keenly--at the same time, a profound paradox?!
He seems so very far away, his physicality completely unreachable--in a box, far away, deep in the earth, having been covered up lovingly with kindness, so much sadness and a giant pile of dirt! I love that boy, that 39 year old man child of mine! I miss so many things, little things and big things about him, sweetnesses. His gentleness. His readiness to be helpful, always in "one moment," a habit he had picked up from working at a call center and having to tell the client "one moment." We'd say "Brian, can you help with this computer issue?" He'd say "one moment!"
My soul is reeling from the loss of almost daily nurturing from such a tender soul who lived right nearby, just a few streets away, in our little town, but always a phone call away. Almost. Always! He was so reachable, and now he feels so unreachable, yet near, at the same time.
How can that be!? Our Brian, our kind and gentle Brian! Why him? Why Lord? Why??? Yeah, I get that! that he is needed on the other side; but it's such an infinitely long mission, and not just a two-year mission, that seemed like four long years so long ago! Yes this one's longer, oh!!! so much
L O N G E R !!!
I am not complaining of it being unfair. He is thine, not just mine! He has been a gift from thee, I do see! A more gentle soul I have not known on this earth! And fun! He was so fun, so spontaneous! Always willing, capable of so much Magic! And he made it look easy, his magic, whether it was to perform his wizardry to resurrect a broken phone, to help a senior citizen navigate treacherous waters of insurance plans, to venture upon a roof to help a family receive an internet signal
What magic is all around us in the souls and actions of seemingly ordinary people who hide depths of extraordinary wonder that we may take for granted!? Like my husband's lawn mower in the distance, making our yard beautiful and the care and love behind it? Refurbishing of a broken down, rotting picnic table, like magic into a brand new looking table, as a surprise for me so I can look out our window and enjoy it and use it with family and friends!
There are many roots that went into Brian's creation of skills and tools in his tool belt:
His grandma, my mom, and her patience, and willingness to sit, listen and love people right where they are without judgment! His paternal grandparents and their ability to focus and get a job done along with an amazing work ethic, and their propensity for detailed providence as well as discipline, also found abundantly in Brian's father, my dear husband! A rich musical background from both sides that have brought him a singing voice that sounds like the angels! A fun spontaneous sense of humor, and ability to take time to PLAY, a rich family heritage of both our family and of his wife, Nikki's family. His willingness to just serve and to minister wherever he is, out of a love for God and of people, always blooming and serving wherever he is planted. Even on his dying day, doing one last act of service on this earth, to help a fellow worker be able to get home early enough to his family on Christmas Eve.
His love for a healthy diet and willingness to be adventurous with food, or to just simply follow a recipe as his paternal grandmother often did to bless her family and their health. Somewhere, he got his ability to not care so much how he looks or comes across, as much as he has cared how deeply he touches each soul and serves! He got that from somewhere! Maybe he came with that and leaves that legacy for us all! He leaves this world touched with his spark of divinity that was and is uniquely his and is a gift of God. Such a huge legacy from one who had not even reached his 40th birthday!
Our Brian. this world will never be quite the same because you were here; and may we honor you by being a little more like you, combined with what we each came to this world to do, be, and leave after we, too, are gone from this earth but not really gone. Thank you, oh my son, for your gentle Legacy! It will be forever remembered and etched into our very souls; and, hopefully in our lives, as we remember to do what you did, to follow so closely in the footsteps of Our Savior, Jesus Christ!
By Janise Eckman Wooten
I am sitting in my tree house, basking in the sunshine, hearing the sound of my husband Randy, running the lawn mower. It is a kind of music to my soul, as I feel the breeze on my arms and face; knowing my mom, who lives with us, is being safely cared for, in our home, by her caregiver Rebecca.
Yes, I'm just sitting in the tree house relaxing, taking a break, but from what?!! Relaxing and grieving, mourning the loss of our son, Brian. I am hidden away, but not really, just grieving, yet rejoicing at the same time that I feel his nearness; but how could I feel his FARNESS too--so keenly--at the same time, a profound paradox?!
He seems so very far away, his physicality completely unreachable--in a box, far away, deep in the earth, having been covered up lovingly with kindness, so much sadness and a giant pile of dirt! I love that boy, that 39 year old man child of mine! I miss so many things, little things and big things about him, sweetnesses. His gentleness. His readiness to be helpful, always in "one moment," a habit he had picked up from working at a call center and having to tell the client "one moment." We'd say "Brian, can you help with this computer issue?" He'd say "one moment!"
My soul is reeling from the loss of almost daily nurturing from such a tender soul who lived right nearby, just a few streets away, in our little town, but always a phone call away. Almost. Always! He was so reachable, and now he feels so unreachable, yet near, at the same time.
How can that be!? Our Brian, our kind and gentle Brian! Why him? Why Lord? Why??? Yeah, I get that! that he is needed on the other side; but it's such an infinitely long mission, and not just a two-year mission, that seemed like four long years so long ago! Yes this one's longer, oh!!! so much
L O N G E R !!!
I am not complaining of it being unfair. He is thine, not just mine! He has been a gift from thee, I do see! A more gentle soul I have not known on this earth! And fun! He was so fun, so spontaneous! Always willing, capable of so much Magic! And he made it look easy, his magic, whether it was to perform his wizardry to resurrect a broken phone, to help a senior citizen navigate treacherous waters of insurance plans, to venture upon a roof to help a family receive an internet signal
What magic is all around us in the souls and actions of seemingly ordinary people who hide depths of extraordinary wonder that we may take for granted!? Like my husband's lawn mower in the distance, making our yard beautiful and the care and love behind it? Refurbishing of a broken down, rotting picnic table, like magic into a brand new looking table, as a surprise for me so I can look out our window and enjoy it and use it with family and friends!
There are many roots that went into Brian's creation of skills and tools in his tool belt:
His grandma, my mom, and her patience, and willingness to sit, listen and love people right where they are without judgment! His paternal grandparents and their ability to focus and get a job done along with an amazing work ethic, and their propensity for detailed providence as well as discipline, also found abundantly in Brian's father, my dear husband! A rich musical background from both sides that have brought him a singing voice that sounds like the angels! A fun spontaneous sense of humor, and ability to take time to PLAY, a rich family heritage of both our family and of his wife, Nikki's family. His willingness to just serve and to minister wherever he is, out of a love for God and of people, always blooming and serving wherever he is planted. Even on his dying day, doing one last act of service on this earth, to help a fellow worker be able to get home early enough to his family on Christmas Eve.
His love for a healthy diet and willingness to be adventurous with food, or to just simply follow a recipe as his paternal grandmother often did to bless her family and their health. Somewhere, he got his ability to not care so much how he looks or comes across, as much as he has cared how deeply he touches each soul and serves! He got that from somewhere! Maybe he came with that and leaves that legacy for us all! He leaves this world touched with his spark of divinity that was and is uniquely his and is a gift of God. Such a huge legacy from one who had not even reached his 40th birthday!
Our Brian. this world will never be quite the same because you were here; and may we honor you by being a little more like you, combined with what we each came to this world to do, be, and leave after we, too, are gone from this earth but not really gone. Thank you, oh my son, for your gentle Legacy! It will be forever remembered and etched into our very souls; and, hopefully in our lives, as we remember to do what you did, to follow so closely in the footsteps of Our Savior, Jesus Christ!
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